My Journey

Kalyana Alochana - Part 1

2008-09-11T09:11:00.000-07:00

Some things in this world are destined to happen, and there is someone somewhere made for you.. waiting for you… and from my own experience no matter what all you try to do, run away, stay out of reach of parents so that you can enjoy the single life. The pressure is natural to be there from parents, from friends who are already married !!! Get married, its really good experience of being in a wedlock, to have someone with you caring you.. all those rosy images.… and same was in my case, and I too meekly succumbed to the external pressures, agreeing I will start seeing gals(pennu kanal), that was some 2 years back. As everyone does these days, I too opened a chavaramatrimony account (this site was my first choice, thanks for the tip from Ajith, during my time in blore, I have seen him digging deep into this site..) amazing collection, nattil ethrayum kettan prayamaya penpillaru undennu manasilakiyya time… well even though I opened an account, i still kept the control on the account, and not a single interest request sendout from that account.. occasionally some one will send me mail showing interest , and I will fwd it to my mother to go through it.. but the scrutiny from my end was so water tight, that I do remember only sending a single fwd (they never knew how many had come to me....) anyways,,,I was working in the background.. and understanding Hyderabad is too near a place,, I decided to move some place further.. the leash is no way going to be given back to parents.

Hurray.. one fine Friday night, I called up parents and said.. tomorrow I am traveling to US. And that’s it.. even before some decisions could be made.. I was off, some peaceful 4 5 months… peaceful in bachelors terms, meaning doing what ever one wants to do.. but little did I know, that was the breaking point… all hell broke loose back at home.. with mom, dad, uncles, aunts .. all calling, mailing and giving me lectures.. its time.. you cant go on being single… thirichu vanne pattu… In order to calm all nerves back at home, I reactivated the chavara site account..and gave access to parents.. ok.. you can start looking .. and If any good ones comes.. I am ready.. and I was keeping tab on, whether there was any request send out.. or anything new has come up.. I was happy as there was not much of activity on my account.... again the search has taken a back seat. I for sure, didn’t know that was the calmness before the storm. My dad retired from government service during that time, and first thing he said was I have taken up another full time job, to get me married, (exact phrase said: egane kala kalichu nadanathu mathi… ) And I was like OK !! . I know how I can delay things, I had mastered different ways in that.(like all bachelors proclaim). It didn’t take long for me to understand how seriously he has taken up the job, with one fine morning, to my utter disbelief there are 20 interest request send out (max for a day) from my matrimony account, and that’s not the end, there is a mail from my sister saying.. there is an advert on manorama running on Sunday. Jeeze .. I called up my mom and asked what is going on, well my dad gave me a reply for that question, you had your time, we have been listening to you patiently, now its up to karnavars at home to decide. Ohh man.. I am getting beaten in my own game!! .. I instantly changed my stance, so that I don’t totally loose control over the situation, and relegated to a member without voting rights. My changed stance read, “I am ok with whomever you find suitable for me, with all the subtile hints, if something bad happens, I am not the one to be blamed.”.. (how clever of me.., that was clear to put lot of tensions in the selection process. )

All I could say about that time was, my mom was so busy, with just answering phone calls. Poor mom, I was amazed by her patience and control on the situations, in attending to calls so patiently, with some of the calls coming in with lot of head weight parents, njangallu acre kanakkinu plantation undu, benz car undu. And my mom was like, we are an average middleclass family with oru cheriya vedum, vedinodu koodi kurachu sthalavum. Makhanu oru joli undu, orale koodi nere chovane nokkan pattiya shambalam kittunna joli… and it was left for me, to console my mom, that its ok, we will keep on looking, and will come up with some one who is not looking at how many acres of land we have or the veedinu ethra nilayundu or the car we have or kudumbathu ethra achanmarum kanyasrimarum undu… (how good of me.. I was playing the ideal son, very much understanding of the situation…)

Apart from that, It was quiet refreshing to me, as to know that there are gals parents (can’t say about gals) out there, who are in lookout for a guy like me. I donno what happened on all those calls, at what stages they were dropped. The RCA on the cases, made my dad understand that, most of the parents want the guy to be in India, and my stance of I am going to come back and settle down in India doesn’t hold value. Anyways, my decision to take up this work in US, did give expected results of pushing my marriage, and me staying single and making fun of the unfortunate ones who has got stuck up.

In between there was one case which stood out, but the way it didn’t work out, left me with one big reality check, and I coined a new sentence of how marriages work out in India, It’s not that the guy alone has to agree, the gal has to agree(if she has a choice), then the guys parents, then gals parents, guys relatives, gals relatives, then all tom dick and harry, who comes into the picture in the selection process have a say, that’s a really tough combination you have to work on. And the probability one meeting all these conditions is “zero”. One famous remark that comes in from the toms, dicks and harrys are.. “njangal parayanullathu paranju.. ini paranjillannu parayaruthu.. njangal vannu pankedutholam.. pakshe ethu njangalkku athra thalparyam illa.. “ putting all sorts of doubts into the concerned peoples mind, leaving them with no choice but to call it off.

To be cont.

Do I Hate Love ?

2008-06-28T09:50:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been in love? I know different people have different take in the matter. But have anyone thought about it? Love makes you so vulnerable, it opens up your heart and allow someone to get inside you and mess you up completely. You build up your defenses, taking all the precautions that you wont be dragged into it, and then suddenly one fine day, some stupid, not different from any other stupid , wanders into your stupid life. And you give a part of you, which they haven’t even asked for. They might have done something dumb, like a kiss, a smile, a shoulder to lean on, some consoling words, and your life is not anymore yours. Love makes you a hostage. It makes you cry in the darkness and eats you out, and makes so simple phrases like “maybe we should be just friends” into glass splinters piercing your heart. It hurts, not just in imagination, not just in mind, but it hurts real. Does that make me hate love?

Flashing red and blue

2008-05-22T13:24:00.000-07:00

I consider myself to be a rash driver, speeds unnecessarily just for the thrill of hitting the wind at great speeds. Just as my star sign, I am caught between two of my characters, one the uncompromising, throwing caution to the wind, and doing absolutely unnecessary crazy things, and the next instant, a very defensive driver behind the wheels, extremely cautious, considering the repercussions twice over.
Nothing prepares for the eventualities, it’s only the way you react to situations that can make or break a person. And with what level headiness you can deal the situation. I have many a times, re run the script of what to be answered when pulled over by cops (I know its matter of time,(law of averages))
Last Saturday, when returning after another of our now routine night drives, we were suddenly confronted with flashing red and blue lights, it took only seconds to understand that it was indications for us to pull over. After pulling over we started the endless wait for the cop to come and ask for the license/identification. My experience of seeing this over and over in the movies, has made me to stay still in the car, unlike the way we just stash a 100Rs note into your license and give it to the inspector in India.

I am trying to recreate what could have transpired from the cops angle.

Some stranger dials 911.. Time 12:15 am
Dispatcher : 9 1 1 , What is your emergency?
Stranger 1: I am calling from ……
Dispatcher : Uh- huh
Stranger 1: I see a car moving around the neighborhood. Its moving very slowly.
Dispatcher : Okay. It’s a neighborhood, cars has to go slow.
Stranger 1 : No, no this is real slow, I feel something suspicious. I think they are upto something. Please do send some cops over here. I am feeling scared.
Dispatcher (over radio): Need assistance at ……, there is a suspicious looking car in the neighborhood.
Dispatcher : Okay mam, Deputies are on there way, we will confront the car. Stay inside your home, don’t go out, we will be there.
Officer 1: Dispatch I am at the location, looking out for the car. I am going over to the apartment from which the call came.
Dispatch 1 : Deputy needs assistance at …… , proceed over to there.
Officer 2: I am taking the lead.

Officer 1 ( at the door of the stranger who made the call) : Mam are you ok?
Stranger 1 : They just left the drive way, go after them, they just left.
Officer 1 : Mam are you fine?
Stranger 1: Catch them, they are up to something. Catch them.

Officer 1(over radio) : Car has left this area, in lookout for a Silver Chrysler, probably heading the bruce be downs.
Officer 2 (over radio) : Gotcha, in pursuit of Chrysler, going at 40 mph down bruce be downs.
Officer 2 (over radio): I have the car pulled over. There are four occupants in the vehicle. Asians.

A Second police car pulls over, the entire area is now flooded with the blue and red flashing. Time 12:30 am.

From my angle,
11:55 pm
Me: maan that’s another wrong turn you have taken, GPS says right after .2 miles.
Driver : you said right , I took the first right I saw.
Occupant 3 : ok, now get back to the road, so that we reach home before morning.
Occupant 4 : Just one person read out the way, so that there is no more confusion, hope we have gas, otherwise stop at the next gas station and then we will proceed.
Me : ok, I will say way the route, take that only. GPS is recalculating the route, park somewhere or slowdown, we will see how far we are from our place, what will be the best route from here.

Me : Chill guys we are only 10 miles away, should get to room in 10 - 15 mins. We will head bruce be downs and on to the I 75 and from there its straight.
Driver : Don’t tell me a turn at the last minute.

Got the car back onto the main road, and heading down bruce be downs.

Suddenly the car is filled with blue and red flashes…
Occupant 3 : You have a cop behind, you need to pull over.
Occupant 4 : Put on your indicator and pull over and stop the engine. All stay calm.
(Driver is going for his license and id card for being ready for the cop, pulling down the windshield)
Me : Stay still, don’t do anything, cop will ask what he need, till then don’t move, and stay in the car.
(I can see through my rear view mirror, the cop moving slowly towards our car, with his pelican flash light, and gun still in his Latch).
Driver : What wrong did we do? Why had he to stop us? Why is he taking a long time to come over.?
Occupant 3: Stay cool and calm, you will know why he has stopped you, reply only for what he is asking.
Me : we haven’t done anything wrong, it may be misunderstanding, stay calm.
(cop is still behind our car, not yet moved to the side of the car)
(another police car, pulls up behind us, and another cop is coming out, first cops moves over to the drives side, the windshield is already down, by the proactiveness of the driver. )
Me : (thinking) are we in serious trouble, there is another police car, pulled up behind.

Cop 1 : Hey, are you guys lost?
Driver : No, we are going over to our apartment.
(cop flashes light on to all the occupants)
Cop 1 : Do you have some sort of identification?
Driver : I haven’t got my license yet, I have my Indian driving license and passport.
Cop 1 : Can I see them.
(Driver just opens up the dashboard, and takes out his passport and license.. )
(Cop might have been little off the hook, seeing its Indians, and they don’t have any chance of having a gun in his dashboard,..)
Driver : here is my Indian license, this is my passport.
Cop 1 : Is this car rented?
Driver : Yes, I have rented it today, I have the receipt of that with me.
Cop1 : hold on, lemme run a check on you.
( cop goes back to his vehicle, and talks with the second cop.)

(Minutes are flying by, and the driver is getting impatient)
Driver : hey he has taken my passport, what is he doing, why its taking a lot of time.
Me : cool down stay calm, he will return those, any ways its for sure, not for speeding or jumping signal.

(cop comes back to side of the driver)
Cop 1 : (returning the passport and license) you are clean, but what were you doing in the …. Driveway ?
Driver :I just took wrong turn, there, and had to go in., and the GPS had to recalculate, so I had to stop there till GPS could show us our way out.
Cop 1 : So now you know the way,?
Driver : Yes we have it in track.
Cop 1 : Ok, you are clear to go. We had a call regarding suspicious movement of your car. So had to check the vehicle. Have a safe journey and good night guys.
Driver : Thank you sir. Good night to you too. Time 1:00 am

Driver : (who was crazy to call cop, just because they saw a car on there driveway.)
Me : its midnight, I wouldn’t mind doing that, if I am hysterical.

From then on, it was straight to our apartment. But the pull over had got me back from the sleepiness that was creeping in on my eyes. All the way discussing how idiotic it was to just open the dashboard. Lucky the cop was not so much on the edge, and why the cops out here are so efficiently working, how in the middle of the night, they could find us without any problem and that too in minutes. Joking about the experiences we all had with cops in India, reached our apartment.

It was just one of my crazy wishes, to be pulled over by cops. Now sitting back and thinking it over, I would prefer this way, rather than caught for speeding or jumping the signals and then cops coming after you.

Gone are those days

2008-05-13T19:29:00.000-07:00

Gone are those days,
when I used to sit with my computer, all day, browsing, reading sending mails,
when I used to spend hours hooked up with gaming, creating empires, fighting monsters,
when I used to die for playing outdoor games, enjoy the sun beating on me,
when I used to spend hours together with friends, chit chatting, discussing the world over,
when I used to skim through the channels, watch multiple movies at the same time,

And then from no where, without any introduction, came someone, for me, and I started to take stroll among woods, in peace with the nature, listening to the silence around, with that face in my heart, a face, whom I never met but always close to heart,never knowing what is in store the next day.

Gone are those days,
Which gave a meaning to my life here in this strange world,
And now, I’m left all by myself, to get over those memories, memories worth living for.

Vacation

2008-05-04T20:08:00.000-07:00

I got back from a very enjoyable vacation, wandered around Florida, visiting beaches and theme parks. I really think i need another vacation to get over the vacation already i had.
Meanwhile I am preparing another check list of the things i would like to do, something like a wish list, but its not anymore a wish list but a list with a definite timeline to complete. The idea itself has given jitters to my mom, and her only demand is do things which can be done on land.

Achieving Your Childhood Dreams

2008-04-27T07:04:00.000-07:00

Carnegie Mellon Professor Randy Pausch, who is dying from pancreatic cancer, gave his last lecture at the university Sept. 18, 2007, before a packed McConomy Auditorium. In his moving talk, "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams," Pausch talked about his lessons learned and gave advice to students on how to achieve their own career and personal goals. For more, visit www.cmu.edu/randyslecture.

"Journeys" are special University Lectures in which Carnegie Mellon faculty members share their reflections on their journeys -- the everyday actions, decisions, challenges and joys that make a life.

This video is truly inspiring, worth listening to, can have an impact on you and the way you live.

NEVER CRY

2008-04-27T05:37:00.000-07:00

NEVER CRY FOR ANY RELATION IN LIFE
BECAUSE FOR THE ONE WHOM YOU CRY
DOES NOT DESERVE YOUR TEARS
AND THE ONE WHO DESERVES WILL NEVER LET YOU CRY......... ........

Ithramel enne nee snehichirunnenkil ....

2008-04-26T05:05:00.000-07:00

One of my favourite songs... from the album, "Swantham"
Putting up the lyrics here..

song : ithramelenne nee...
album : swantham
singers :yesudas and sujatha

Ithramel enne nee snehichirunnenkil
Enthinu neeyenne vittakannu
Evideyo poy maranju
Ithramel enne nee snehichirunnenkil
Enthinu neeyenne vittayachu
Akalaan anuvadhichu
Ithamel enne nee snehichirunnenkil..
Snehichirunnenkil

Ithramel enne nee snehichirunnenkil
Ellam sahichu nee enthe doore mari akannu ninnu
Maunamayi mari akannu ninnu
Ithramel enne nee snehichirunnenkil
Ellamarinja nee enthe enne madichilla
Orikkalum aruthe ennu paranjilla
Ithramel enne nee snehichirunnenkil
Snehichirunnenkil

Aruthe ennoru ennoru vakku paranjirunnenkil njan
Akalathirunnene orunalum akalthirunnene
Nin arikil thala chaaychurangiyene
Aa marin choodettunarnnene
Aa hridayhathin spandanamayi mariyene
Njan aruthe ennu paranjilla enkilum
Enthe arikil nee vanilla
Madiyil thala chaychurangeela
En marin choodettunarnneella
En hridayathin spandanamay maariyilla
Nee orikkalum spandanamay maariyilla
Ithramel enne nee snehichirunnenkil
Snehichirunnenkil

Swantham swapnamayi marum vidhiyude
Kaliyarangalle jeevitham
Annu njan padiya pattinte pallavi
Ariyathe njaninnorthupoyi
Ninakkay thozha punar janikkam
Iniyum janmangal onnu cheram
(Ithramel)

Another Day In My Life (Part 3)

2008-04-23T17:58:00.000-07:00

On seeing drive-in ATM, decided I will try that, I was pretty sure I wont be holding up anyone over there, with my new set of trial and error method of learning. There was nothing new, just like any other ATM, just put your card, give the pin and type the amount you want. But, what the heck, the message on the screen reads “your card has been denied” .. ohh no this is bad, has I done some mistake, sitting in the car, may be I might have done something for the transaction to not go through. Got out of the car at the drive-in ATM, and given the details again, same result. I understood two things, I didn’t do any mistake sitting inside the car and giving the details, and second i am completely out of money, without a single penny in my pocket and a non working debit card. Anyways I need to get back to my room to go online and see if my money is still there and call up the customer care, to help me out. I was wondering what is the worst, that could happen now, a flat tyre, police booking me for something, and having to spend the night at Jail, American Jail( that would be a good experience). Nothing bad happened as I dreamt and reached home, went directly online and seen with my eyes, yea, the money is still there in my account. Dug up the call center number and dialed. After waiting for 5 mins on the call, got a human voice at the other end, explained my plight, in what seems to be a reassuring tone, she told “please hold the line, while I get the details.”.. I don’t have a clue of what transpired after putting me on hold and then when she returned, the tone on the other line was without any feeling.. and point blank, .. “fraud has been detected on your account, so your account has been blocked, please visit the nearest branch the next day” .. it didn’t stop at that .. and for a perfect irony “Is there any thing else I can help you with.. “ .. “thanks for calling BOA, have a good night “.. without even allowing me to speak the phone has been put down. And me left wondering what fraud has been done.. i don’t see any transaction happened in my account. Anyways, I don’t have anything to do for the night, need to head to the bank next morning. Hit the bed, and as simple as giving a shutdown command on the computer, I closed my eyes and went into a deep slumber. Nothing stops me from having a good sleep.

Without much fuzz, on reaching the branch, proved my identity and got my account reactivated. Well it seems, if I am moving to another location within the country, I need to update the bank also. A way of protecting your savings. Or is it a way fleecing some money out of the customer. Well now I understood, what was the 15$ per yr deduction on my account, “Protection against fraud.”. How lucky I was when I was protected against fraud by the ever so caring bank, lucky that I was not at some pub and after having a good time, when you pay your bill, you get the message, your card has been denied. Thinking about it, I can laugh at the consequences if I happen to be in that kinda situation, may be asked to clean up the entire washroom, or any mean job, they will ask me to do.

Another Day In My Life (Part 2)

2008-04-23T17:39:00.000-07:00

My friends who has gone on trips with me, will vouch on my map reading capabilities, and many has vowed if I am seen with a map again, they are going to trash me. It was in India, I am now in US, the maps ought to be different, more over, I am all alone, and I am already lost, so what more is to lost. The only place I know of was Telecom Parkway, Tampa. And that’s where my treasure is as of now. Understanding how far away from my target is, I have gone too far and need to head back. The beep beep sound that always welcomes me to the car is refreshing, its a feeling like there is someone sitting there and instructing, dumbass put on the seatbelt, remove the hand break. Clearing of all the lights that’s on the dash board is itself quiet a task. With map on hand, I headed back on the road to my treasure island. Once on the road, as in India, I started cutting lanes, speed fast other cars, or wait a minute.. its only me moving fast, why other cars are slow.. !!! It didn’t take long to notice the board, speed limit 40 mph, a glance on my speedometer read 70mph, . .lucky, there was no cops along the road to come after me, other wise, I would have to take a leaf out of NFS-pursuit experience, to dodge the cops. Nothing bad happened, the map worked perfectly fine, even though the actual time to the car rental, was just 15 mins, it took me more than an hour to reach back. On the way, I have made up my mind, first thing I am going to do , is find my way to the nearest Circuit City and get myself a GPS navigation. Learning on the job, yea, that’s what I am doing learning on the road, how to drive on roads in US.

With a cute little Magellan, GPS in hand, i set forth for my trip to Oldsmar, its only 30 miles from the place I stay. And with me mastering the indicators in the dash board, was thinking the ride should be a straight forward ride, especially since I have a navigation now with me, so that there is no chance of me getting lost anymore. I need to put gas, even though the indicators showed I am still good for the return with what I have, I didn’t want to take any chance, decided to fill the tank. Parked the vehicle by the gas station, and started looking for the lever to open the vault for the gas. Oh noo, there is no lever for gas, only for the trunk and the bonnet. Then again started the search on the console, is there any button showing as gas. It didn’t take long for me to fall back on my insurance, user manual, after skipping through the entire manual. There is nothing showing the how to open the vault. This is starting to look bad, and I am still inside the car, trying to figure out how to open, and I can see a queue forming behind me, to put the gas, the impatient ones are taking there vehicles out of the queue, and moving to the next gas filling station. But no honking, no swearing, I bow to the patience of the people behind me. Something has to be done, not to be cave in so fast and accept defeat, I went out to see how is the vault, olaahh , its just opened with out any pressure. Ohh man what a waste. I should have remembered, for some of the problems there will be very simple straight forward solutions which we tend to over look. With first part sorted out, started reading the instructions of how to put gas in to your car. Unlike in India, where you sit inside the car majestically asking the poor chap at the gas station to fill up you car, here you have to do everything yourself. I wished I had tried this before hand, and there was nothing in any of the games, asking me to fill the gas, the cars never ran out of gas in games. Its high time some of the game makers make it more realistic, that they need to add this part also into games. After going through the instructions, I understood any dumb could read and do, as I could do it without any problems. Got on to the car, and sped away from the gas station, ohh man, not a single honking, for the time I wasted for the rest in the queue. What a learning experience, I learned something new, how to fill gas in your car.

The ride was safe and sound, except for the pain of going with in the speed limits. This is going to be a struggle for me for the time I am going to be here, I am not used to go slow, not used to obey the laws laid out. And on speed, I am not talking about slow as in 40 – 50 kph but 60mph, that translates to roughly 100Kph , I am cruising along at the speed, but since I know the car can take speeds more than 110mph, (which I had done already) it was a pain to hold myself back from slamming the accelerators to the floor with such a straight, zero traffic road lying before me.

With Occasional U –turns, when I wrongly read the way, I reached my friends place. The plan was to head to the beach to see the sun set into the Atlantic Ocean. But with me as usual late, the sun has already set. So we decided to take out first part of the plan, to see the sun set, the second part still holds good, to be at the beach. So we headed to Clearwater beach. Another 20 miles drive to the new destination. With my driving skills being tested to the limits, by keeping the car with in the approved limits, reached the spot where we planned to get. Alteast that’s what is being mentioned in the Navigation, that we reached the destination. With the time well past 9:30pm, there is nothing to see except for the buildings all along the road, and shops are already getting closed, we just kept on driving to the ocean front. But it was like an oasis, seems like so near yet no there really. Well that’s what we thought and we kept on moving. By then my stomach has decided enough of the wandering get me refilled. Stopped by the roadside and headed for the nearest eatery. With my stomach refilled with fuel, hit the road again, in search of the ocean. We can see, boats anchored all along, but not the sand beach, the waves hitting the sands that’s what we wanted, not just to see the ocean from a distance. With the time well past 10.30, we decided its better we head back home and come back again in day light, In search of sand and beach.
With the navigation guiding, I dropped of my friends at the there place and me headed back to my den. With the cool breeze hitting my face, and me totally in peace with the surroundings, listening to some soft music being played, I consider myself lucky that I didn’t doze off on the way. There was no indication of the disaster that was awaiting me.

Cont ...

Another day in my life !!! (Part 1)

2008-04-23T17:36:00.000-07:00

I don’t want to hold myself back from doing things, which for some will be down right crazy or naive. But for me, its just another day at office. Why am I doing all these? So many why’s and no answers, I don’t want to waste time in finding answers, but need to come up with more questions to make the question asked just before redundant.

After landing in Florida, the first thing I planned to do was to make a trip to oldsmar to meet a friend of mine. More than the trip, the setting for the trip was lot more exuberating. A lot has been said about needing a state license, international license etc for driving in America. Well I just walked into a rental office, and said I want a car, and I don’t have an American driving license, can I drive. Sure you can, provided the license issued from your country is in English. And you need to carry your passport, in case cops stop you. And there I go after signing something like taking a loan in India, passed on the key to me. A Dodge Avenger.

I am going to drive for the first time in US, all by myself. My nearest of my driving experiences till then has been the passenger seat next to the driver. And my knowledge of driving has been Need For Speed. There is no manual gear,(not many complications) only an accelerator and break. Slam the accelerator to the floor the way you ride on a console gaming box, and there you go. I was taken to the car that I have got. I did ask for a compact car thinking, that would give me a better control. Was it my luck or bad luck, not sure at that moment, I was given an automatic upgrade to the car I can have and ended up with a Dark Blue Dodge Avenger. One thing I couldn’t avoid, was to ask out the lady who was making sure the paper work has been proper, ended up with asking her the places were all I could visit if I am a tourist. Honestly it wasn’t a straight forward question and never intended one, but when the outcome of what I asked for wasn’t taking the correct turn, I turned the plate. Good me !!!
Entering the car, the only thing i could remember saying was, “Its Big”.. lot of foot space… now why am I thinking of all these,.. Me, I’m just another single guy in a strange place, and I am not here to meet up with some gal. I am just going to visit a friend of mine, and may be head up the beach, who knows what is in store. It never crossed my mind, that I don’t have a clue of the direction I need to take to reach my hotel and then get the map downloaded from internet and hit the road again to meet up with my friend. I didn’t want to think too much ahead of time, and to see to the immediate priority at hand of reaching my hotel safely, took the car out on the road, my first drive on American soil. The car was so smooth, and I had a feeling that I was sitting in cockpit of an aircraft. I haven’t been inside a real one yet, but again my experiences with the flight simulator, has given me a pretty decent idea how it will be. My comparison with the cockpit, is not because of the controls or comforts I have, but the sheer number of displays in front of me of which I didn’t have a clue of which is for what. And it didn’t take long for the disaster to strike, beep beep. … beep beep… some small alarm has started in side the car, and there is display glowing indicating for my immediate attention. Before the panic could settle in, I decided to take the car off the road, into some parking area, and see what is the problem. With out hitting any other car on the road, I managed to get into a parking area, and then my frantic search started for the black book, well the car user manual, I know it has to be somewhere there inside the car otherwise I am stuck. Atlast my preying eyes, located the neatly tugged inside the pouch, the most wanted book of the hour for me. I wouldn’t have ever given that much concentration in understanding the various indicators, the controls on the dashboard,but for, i dont want to get stuck in the middle of the road, not knowing what is being indicated. After studying it for another 30 mins, certified myself, that I have a fair idea of what-is-what on the controls in front of me, got back on the road to my hotel. Riding along behind the cars, i am used to bumber to bumber rides, and so it didn’t feel any different, but stoping at the signals for the signal to change was something of a new experience. Thrill of the ride I am having made me immune to the time passing by the and roads I have been taking, and I was taking roads, as though I have gone through over 1000s of times. Reality began to slowly settle in, that I am lost.. I couldn’t digest that I have lost my way, its nothing new for me of getting lost on the way, even after being in Hyderabad for 6 years, I still get lost, but then what makes me look forward, is the truth "The world is round", and you will end up where you started,.. somehow. I am known to take routes that leads out of state in India, that was another thing weighing in my mind, I am supposed to ride only with in the state, that’s there on the agreement I have signed. After wandering around for some more time, I knew there only two options in front of me, now, either I have to ask someone to help me with the route or need to get a map of the place. I decided to go with the second option, coz that will be useful at a later time also, and can get a better understanding of the place. i went into one of the stores, packed myself up with lot of water( I do remember reading somewhere… when you go on a trail carry lot of water. ) and the map of city. When I came back to my car, I had that satisfying smile on my face, the same smile, which I tend to carry on, when I complete a level in some of the games I play online.

cont...

Busy Bee !!

2008-04-22T13:41:00.000-07:00

The last two weeks has been very busy with moving to a new apartment, purchasing household stuffs. Also, i am back to my self.. "The Chef" ..
Presently doing some research on preparing different curry with minimum fuzz, in minimum time. Poor my roomates.., they dont have any other go, than to have what i am preparing.. and i am enjoying tortouring them with my instant dishes.

The transition to a more responsible person is taking its time, need to remember lot of things that need to be paid, rent, energy, water, waste... all the utilities.. i am just waiting to get all the account numbers so that i can automate it and forget about these.. and go back to carefree total freak.

How can I ?

2008-04-11T12:42:00.000-07:00

How can I express the feelings, without words,
The skip of a heartbeat,
The swirl of emotions inside me

How can I explain the truths, without words,
The feelings are real,
The sharing and wanting is all real

Knowing everything within me,
Yet forced to take a stand.......

Rewind !!!

2008-04-10T10:48:00.000-07:00

After weeks of constant pestering, my travel to Florida been confirmed. Oh man, twice postponed farewell party, at last ended up partying whole week before my travel to Florida.

For all the time I stayed in Dallas, the last month was the most happening of all, the most eventful. I’ve decided enough of America seeing me, now I am going to see America. And that’s when everything started to change. Shedding off my inhibitions(self contained), decided to the tame the bull by catching its horns. Taken a plunge, then its me as always, extremes !! living on the edge,. that’s what thrills.

On moving to Dallas, when I decided to stay with a family, and that too an Indian family, and only veggie, allowed in there. My friends commented, its going to be a disaster. But I had some things in my mind when I moved in with them. Knowing the person I am, I wanted a leash tied up some where. Staying with a family, I cant stay out for long, so hard/late partying out of question. Will have some order in my room, otherwise where ever I was, it used to look like a trashbag converted to a room. Only veg translates to lesser calories into me, but then that worked out only for a limited time. Macdy’s has already given me a preferred customer status, why wouldn’t they, how can they start there daily business without seeing my face, and close it with out my good night wishes. Veg or non veg, I ended up with more than 160 lbs,(in case someone wants to know..). I was a caged animal, (well.. .the cage was never locked) .. always raring to go, but ensured the self containment worked. Months flew by, and surprisingly I started liking my new contained life. That was a surprise for me, for I was thinking, I will reach my limits, sooner or later, I knew it was matter of time, before I broke the shackles and free out.. and like a free bird I will start flying. But nothing happened; I began to like the solitude of my room, the stride along the park in the evening, to ensure I have some fresh air into me, the soft music that I always have fixed to my ears. Mentally peaceful with no tensions, at least I never felt any tensions getting on me. Apart from me taking good amount of non veg,(and my parents/friends always reminding me I am going overweight) everything else was cool, peaceful. I never felt the need to watch tv, I had a new found companion, whom I sleep with. (my lapi.) . Food that was one thing which always made me twitch, the Lovers Egg role for its steaming Chinese and Thai food items, and the beautiful waitress over there, always droved me back to them.

And then out of no where I snapped, enough of trying to be the good guy. Enough is enough, this is not me. I take things the way it comes not the orderly type. And it just coincided with my shifting out of the family I was staying with. ( well during the last few days, I already have started going in soo late or skipping going to room at all).

I moved in with two other guys, into my own bachelor’s paradise and there I just bloomed with all my lost glory’s. Partying daily, late night escapades/drives, and then as in India need to drag myself to office the next day half asleep. Anyways of the times in US, the last 2 3 weeks, was a blast, which I can’t forget, the companionship that was shared. They should have really been wondering from where my sudden energy burst comes from, at one moment, so somber, sleepy mood, and the next moment, alive and active, ready to hit the road. Of all the irony’s, I watched my first telegu film in Bollywood theaters, Dallas after spending 6 years in Hyderabad, that is the best I could I actually do. ( don’t ask me for a review on the movie, I went there for the Indianess, the unorderly crowds, shrilling, shouting, dancing, its been real crazy. A person standing beside me asked, Do you guys always go to watch movie like this? In my best of language, I conveyed, we Indians like to party hard, enjoy, and for us it needn’t be a Bar or a pub, any place will be fine. And you will find people like me who just stand back and enjoy the fun that is happening around. And its just for this that we go for the movie and not for the movie alone.

Moving on……
Now I am Tampa(FL), been here for a week. A whole new place, with no friends, no one to speak to. I am confined to the hotel room, but there is a difference this time around, difference in myself, a new confidence of conquering the world.. ohh well literally.

PRICELESS WORDS...

2008-04-10T09:50:00.000-07:00

A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover.
He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.
He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order,
spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.
"Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping.
Love You!"

Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye
when you stumbled into the door". Confused, the man asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting
for me?
I should expect a big quarrel with her!"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said,

"LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!"

Moral:
Self-induced hangover - Rs. 400.00
Broken crockery - Rs. 800.00
Breakfast - Rs. 50.00
Saying the Right Thing While Drunk “ "PRICELESS "

There are truly some things that both money and Mastercard can't buy...!!!

kadapadu "Email fwd"

I am Lazy , r u ?

2008-04-08T20:25:00.000-07:00

How lazy are you?

Have you been ridiculed by your superiors/teachers/colleagues or anyone else whom you have come across in your life for being lazy? Be happy for you are the ones who is driving the innovation. I am not creating another hypothetical theory but an established norm, and many before me has already coined it..

“Progress isn't made by early risers or hardworkers but by lazy people trying to find easier ways to do the same....”

Henry Ford

Does doing the same job 24 * 7, 365 days make you a hard worker, no way. It’s because you are a dump worker ready to do the work again and again. Laziness is heaven send. That’s the best way to avoid work. Avoid work efficiently, even to the ultimate degree of doing nothing at all, one still accomplishes everything he or she wants. Doing nothing yet accomplishing everything. (That’s what our bosses in ofc have mastered in. And what they term it as, delegation of work, sharing of activities so that we can grow up in the ladder knowing the trade. Very similar to showing a cookie to make the dog jump.)

I know I will be ridiculed by some of the work centered workaholics, who always claims “no pains no gains” , how you need to suffer to achieve anything. Ok. I am not here to change anyone’s view, but to shout my views; hopefully someone will hear and take heed.

From our childhood, we have always been taught lazy being a negative trait. And we have grown up, believing, anything to do with lazy is being negative. We are always bombarded with “success comes with only hardwork” motto. If that was the case all people who are hardworking should have been successful in there life. That’s not the case. So heres what I say , Hard work is unnecessary, counter-productive, a waste of time, unhealthy, unpleasant, boring, mind-numbing, ignorant, uncreative, inefficient ….

Its very weird that sometimes things as strange as this pops up on your face, yet we just turn a blind eye to what is said and continue with the number crunching job we do, day in & out. Making our life soo monotonous.

So guys..... be smart lazy .. Enjoy the success doing things with minimal fuzz.

(any undue harm caused by employing this method of being lazy is incidental, and the only reason behind is the person has to have some intelligence for this work effectively)

Oru yathramozhi…

2008-04-06T22:32:00.000-07:00

Jeevithamakunna oru kathasamaharathile orupadu adhyahangalil ninnum.. oru kochu samaharam.

“Knowing about yourself”, “who you really are”.. egane palarum pala varikalil oru soyam kandethal samrambathe visheshipikarundu… ellareyum pole njanum enne thanne manasilakkan pala vattam sramichitundu,

Ella manushanilum nisargikamaya oro kazhivukal undu, chilaru athu valare nerathe manasilakki athine thalochichu valuthakkunnu., chilaru athine valare pathiya manasilakki, engilum athine thande jeevithachariyalil cherthu kondu nadakkunnu.. engil chilaroo athine kandillannu nadichu nadakkum.. athilum kuduthal alakaru.. orukalum athu manasilakathe..eee lokathathu thande jeevitham kazhichukuttunnu. ethonnumillenkilum.. oru sahajeevikkuvendi kurachu samayam chilavazhikkuka.. parayanullathu kelkan chevikodukuka. athreyumenkilum cheyan namellam kadapettitille eee jeevithathil .

Onnum cheyanillathe samayathu kittiya oru cheriya article.. athanu enne ippo egane oru nerampokku ezhuthan preripichathu.

Palarudeyam jeevithathil sambhavikkunathu pole.. ende jeevithathilum pala alukal vannittundu.. egane varunnavare ellam onnukil for a reason alle for a season alle for a lifetime.. classify cheytho ethoo mahano ende kuppu kai..

Person in your life for _________ (A Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime)

People come into your life for a reason, a season, ora lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, youwill know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It isusually to meet a need you have expressed. They havecome to assist you through a difficulty, to provide youwith guidance and support, to aid you physically,emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like agodsend, and they are! They are there for the reasonyou need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at aninconvenient time, this person will say or do somethingto bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realise is that our need has been met, ourdesire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer yousent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.They may teach you something you have never done.They usually give you an unbelievable amountof joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; thingsyou must build upon in order to have a solid emotionalfoundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love theperson, and put what you have learned to use in allother relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Author Unknown

Egane palarudeyum jeevithathil njanum kadannu chennitundavam.. oru reason polumillathe.. pirinju poyitu undavam.. palareyum vedanipichitumundavam ennalum.. evideyoo ketta oru vachakam.. manasil oru cheru nombaram undakkunnu,.. .

Snehikkan marannalum..... Snehichittu marakkaruthu.....

Fast Forward - My first American Journey

2007-10-19T13:15:00.001-07:00

24th September 2007, Monday
I am asked to report to HR to complete all the formalities required to travel, the day before I had completed my medicals as a requirement to get insured for my trip. The mad rush that I had the previous day to get to clinic flashed by, pushing the ford to its limits, racing the car from 0 à 100kph, going over the edges, cutting the lanes, on the roads of Hyderabad, the swearing that’s going around, who really cares for the rules. And all for what, just that adrenalin rush, just that little feeling of life on the edge.
I never understand why I take myself to the edge, but when I am behind the wheel, nothing crosses my mind, except that, speed thrills and yes, I love the smell of rubber burning.
Oh its already 10:20, I am supposed to be at office at 10:30, a small smile came on my face, another rush, during the rush hour. One of the benefits of having a flashy black machine is that you are never stopped for checking.
In office, running around getting approvals, preparing documents, verifying everything is in place, am I the same person who is supposed to travel tonight, I haven’t got my tickets till now, I don’t even know if there are tickets available. That’s not my part, I will be getting it before stepping on the flight. That’s certainity.
5:30 pm.. I am getting my ticket, its on Lufthansa, Hyderabad à Frankfurt à Dallas flight at 1:10 am, I need to report to airport by 9:30 pm. India Pakistan final has started, I am going to miss it completely, once in a life time, you may see an Indian team in a final of any sport event, even though only 10 countries plays it, still its an achievement. I am running to see what’s the score in between, the loud cheer says there is a four or a six. I asked my friend Binil to drive me to airport, stopping in between to get a pair of shoes. The roads are empty, that too at 8.00 pm, if a tourist happen to see it, he might be very well saying is it same India, of what he has heard about. But only we know, its coz, there is an India Pak match going on and that too a world cup final, I must be the only soul who is missing it, and hmm, and my friend, the unfortunate one who has to take me to airport. Out of know where, there is a huge rush onto the road, the loud cry not of agony, but of the joy that has no limits, crackers bursting on the road, and I knew India has won. India won a world cup, and I missed that moment, even though I have seen that catch now a hundred times, I missed the live action, when Sreeshanth took that catch, a sitter, but the burden, the dreams of a billion people all where there in that one, a small ball lofted in the air for him to catch, and he kept the entire nations dream in tact. ( I don’t dare to dream what It would have been, if he had dropped it.)

I reached the airport, around 10:00 pm, checked in .. luggage well within the limits, on my way to US, the US dream .., that kept me away from the India Pak cricket match. I am a cricket enthusiast, who even watches the dampener of test cricket, missing an India Pak match would have been a cardinal sin. But then for me the life has changed that day, another dream which I had, an American dream and that has come my way, and I wanted it to pursue it. Completed my emigration and waiting for the flight announcement, I am on the phone talking to all the person, whom I can get the number of, updating them that, I am on the way to US. Gosh, am I dreaming, well then I don’t want to be woken up from the dream.

12:45 am I am walking along the bridge for boarding my first international flight, Lufthansa LH 753, good looking Germany air hostesses welcomes me abroad, and show me the direction to my seat. My seat 27E, hmm what to say, In just one sentence, “I had seen better” on domestic airline ( or is it kingfisher is just way too different from other airlines.) , I didn’t get any different feeling, that its an international flight. Wait, its not a one hour flight, I have to be in for at least 8 hrs to Frankfurt. The in flight experience is not as I have expected, its all crowded, well for an economy class passenger, what more can be expected. Good choice of drinks and good food, I am happy. Off to sleep, after some heavy drinks, thinking how’s “JET LAG”, that everyone has been telling about is going to affect me.

25th September 2007 Tuesday
7: 30 am Touch down in Frankfurt, its 12C outside, the excitement of first steps in a foreign land, the flight has landed some distant place from the terminal, bus has come to drop us to the terminal. There was lot of instructions on the flight of how to find your way in the terminal, and I was thinking, why this much of fuzz, there will be directions all the way, so what. And I need to only find Gate A61, piece of cake. A step into the terminal and I got it, why they were keep on giving instructions of how to find your way. Its sooooo big, people are moving around fast minding there own business, people from many countries, many languages, moving from one direction to another. My flight is at 10:30 am, and I have good 2 hrs for my boarding and still I am not in a city as Mumbai, but just in a single building, I just need to find a gate, A61.
Going up an elevator, climbing down another, I got it, its so easy to get lost, and difficult to even find the way back from where one started, I felt like I am in some treasure hunt, figuring out where the treasure is, looking for clues. Hurrah, I found how to figure it out, the problem is I’m in another terminal, and I need to catch a train to next terminal. Here I come, A61. People standing in queue to board the train, well well I am new to that, I only know of the fight to get into or alight a train in India. I have lost track of time, no idea how long I have been walking, running. At last I got sight of my treasure, Gate A61. Oh no not again, another queue, what’s this queue for, looking front, i understood, queue for security check. After the security check there is no stamping on the boarding pass or on my luggage, gosh they are so sure about there process, unlike back in India where there are 3 -4 guys at each and every step, checking again if there is a stamping on your bag, even if it has come out of the security screening area. I don’t get it, its they who stamp it, and again there is another person to check if other person has done his work properly, so sure about his own team mates capability. I could see across a bag is opened and the person is asked to part with all liquid or semi liquid material, even water is not allowed, as I seen a person drinking it. Lucky me I am not carrying anything.

At last, phew, I reached my treasure land, Gate A61. Flight to Dallas. I went directly to the counter and asked about the flight, the lady at the counter in the sweetest of her voice said, please stand in the queue, which queue she is saying about, looking around and then I saw a long serpent like queue, such a queue is synonymous to queue in front of IMFL counter in Kerala, which I am used to, so took my place at the end of the queue, and slowly the serpent began to move. And then I saw the privileged ones for whom queues doesn’t matter, rules doesn’t matter, Indians, hustling and jostling to the front of the queue, making there own queue, which kept me wondering, is the seats in the flight based on first come basis. /? Well I am new to flights abroad? So nothing can be taken to chance, I don’t want to stand all the way to Dallas, not at least on my first flight. There seems to be some problem with the bridge, all have to take a bus to the plane. 3 floors down, via stairs, oh no there are no elevators, just a narrow stair case to the ground floor, its not as hi fi as said about, you need to walk and climb also. Everyone is bundled into buses, memories of bus travel in Hyderabad came to my mind, well here they won’t allow traveling by footboard, and door is closed, before the bus starts, but then the bus is as crowded as any bus in India. So much, about passenger comfort.
10: 40 am Good looking airhostess welcomes me abroad, inside, no change at all from my previous flight. Same kind of seats, same seat distance, and I got a window seat, at least I will get to see, the Atlantic Ocean. The meal served on board was great, but the rest all was dampener, couldn’t see anything out, as it was cloudy all through. I started up conversation with an elderly lady seated beside me, topics went flying by, and of all the things she told me, the one I will always remember is, “drink lot of water”.
I slept for most of the time during the flight, and then came an announcement, that we have overshoot the time of flight, coz, the captain has taken a different route, as there was thunderclouds in the normal flight path. Thanks to captain, I didn’t want to have a turbulent travel, at least for my first travel. Looking out of the window, I could see land below, it all looks the same, in India or in US from high up in the sky, 31000 ft.

At 2:30 pm, my first steps on American soil, (sorry tarmac).. from there straight to the immigration counters.. there again waits another long queue, by now I am used to standing in queues, as I have guessed that’s what is in store going forward, always in queue. Walking forward, there is a welcome party, the only difference from india, is there u are welcomed by thalapoli, but here there is a K9 security squad. Passing all these, layers of security, reached the counter, handed over my passport and I94 form, the person with a heavy build, even though he was seated I could guess he should be more than 6 ft, in a heavy American accent, asked , “FOR TATA, ok ”, how long you plan to be here, ? … I am here on a project .. blah blah blah.. ……for 3 years. The person was staring back at me, with wide open eyes, .. all I could do was, give him the best of my charming smile. Done. Stamped.. I am free to enter to the land of absolute freedom, or so what it is called as.